Top Ten Ways to Spend Your Tax Return

Submitted to Company Newsletter for April

Tax season came and went, and some of us may be expecting a refund. Now you’re sitting around in a quandary. How can to spend it? Below are a few suggestions.
1. TurboTax asked me if I wanted to apply my refund to pay income taxes for the current year. Yeah right.
2. Invest it. They say you should make your money work for you. That’s why I pour my spare cash into Beanie Babies. Their values will skyrocket, especially when Pinky the Panda becomes the new universal currency.
3. Buy bumper stickers declaring “Not all CPAs do taxes, so quit asking me for advice.”
4. Give up and enroll in some tax courses, so then you can actually give some tax advice.
5. Purchase the new limited edition Water Cooler Archives – Uncut and Uncensored. I will be selling the copies, er um, publications on the corner of Essex and Delancey for $20.
6. Headshots. The world of public accounting needs more glamour. Why hand out business cards at walkthroughs, when you can be handing out an 8x10 black and white of your face? It’s the only way to get leading roles.
7. Give it to the next Junior Achievement bowling email asking for donations.
8. Hire a high schooler to submit your timesheets for you each Friday.
9. Treat yourself.
10. More useful suggestions on how to spend your tax refund.