Friday, January 8, 2010

January 2010 Email Update

Hey friends, I don't think I have sent out an email update since Africa 2009, so here are the highlights of the past few months.

Allen Boorstein. I received a voicemail at my desk one fall afternoon. An older gent Allen Boorstein called to ask for Charles Goldsmith* because Allen is writing a book. Turns out Allen was the president of Rob Roy, the first company to outsource manufacturing to Japan, Korea, and later China. He held the exclusive licensing rights to Snoopy, Roy Rogers, and Superman. He fought in WWII and graduated from Harvard Business School in 1950. He's insane and hilarious and eccentric. Yadda yadda yadda, he now pays me to help him write this book, which will most likely never come to fruition because he is easily distracted. It's cool. I read the paper with him and his wife on Saturdays in their apartment, which has a larger foyer than my entire three-person apartment, and file the emails he receives and prints out.

*If you know the whereabouts of Charles Goldsmith, let me know because we are still searching for him. He was a Deloitte partner in the 80's, and Allen and I cannot find him on friendster.

This Monday. I will be an extra in a Passion Pit music video. Why not?

Petra. In my quest to see the Seven Wonders of the World before I am thirty, my roommate and I have sought out Petra as our destination of choice in September 2010. This brings me to the whole point of sending out this email.

Sarah Lindenberg, purveyor of good times*, and I would like to visit Jordan and Israel and maybe some other sights in the area, perhaps Turkey, during the first half of September. We are looking for interested companions to join in our search for impromptu dance parties, strange encounters with families and small children, and increasing the love other countries already have for Americans.

Gordon Hua from India 2K7 may join along. Should be insane.

*"Purveyor of Good Times" is a phrase coined by Johnathan George in 2010, memo writer and break dancer extraordinare.

Pens. I have like a hundred ink pens that read "2009 I lost Michael Jackson but I got this pen from Tara Hagan." If you want one, send me a self addressed stamped envelope, and I will mail you one. I ran out of stamps and envelopes after the holiday card mailing. My address is 303 Broome Apt 6, New York, New York 10002.

Busy Season 2010. So it's that time of year again where I disappear into the mounds of data waiting for me to mine it, vlookup it, if(iserror(cell,true,false)) it, goal seek it, and basically just love on it. It's been a pleasure knowing you, but I probably won't see you for a couple months but will more than make it up to you afterwards. Love you.

Mass Emails Suck. Seriously, let me know if you want me to stop sending you generic mass emails. They are lame, but if you write me back, I will write you a personal email and/or stop emailing you if you would prefer that route.

Valentines Cards for Auditors

Submitted to the company newsletter for February 2010

Top Ten Reasons Why I am Okay With Busy Season

Submitted to company newsletter in February 2010 issue

That abusive mistress, busy season. It torments and teases and makes a fool of me, and yet I keep coming back to her. After a few years, I have come to terms with busy season, and thus have compiled my top ten reasons I am okay with busy season.

  1. It’s seasonal. Like depression.
  2. The data doesn’t mine itself. It needs me to mine it, vlookup it, if(iserror(cell, true,false)) it, goal seek it, basically just love on it.
  3. It’s really good practice for the 10-Q. No? The other way around?
  4. If you’re single, you get to ignore the whole Valentine’s Day hoopla.
  5. If you’re not single, you get to somewhat ignore the whole Valentine’s Day hoopla.
  6. It’s paradise for clinical insomniacs and masochists… basically vampires. And vampires are hot these days in the books and on the screen. We were all on the forefront of the trend years ago.
  7. Think of all the new excel formulas you’ll learn. Party tricks!
  8. After working that first Saturday together where everyone comes in casual clothes, you realize you would never recognize any of your coworkers on the street and they would never be able to recognize you on the street either, and this brings you great comfort.
  9. Speaking of casual wear on the weekends, when else do you get to wear your Animaniacs™ t-shirt, tie-dye fanny pack, and black jorts to work? Other than in your dreams.
  10. In all seriousness, when I look back over my past few busy seasons, these are the moments I learn the most and appreciate my teammates the most. So why not embrace the challenge and make the most of it. Best of luck!