Sunday, August 9, 2009

Television for Auditors

Submitted to Company Newsletter in September 2009

The other day, as I was settling down on the sofa about to dig in to my hearty home-cooked dinner of microwavable oatmeal from Trader Joe’s, I noticed this black square with a silver frame across the room from me. My television seemed so foreign at the time. As I was staring at it, I started to wonder how long it’d been since I’d turned it on – weeks, months? I honestly could not recall the last time I’d watched the television. This troubled me.

I had to figure out what happened to my affinity for the tele, and then I realized the reason I don’t watch the television anymore is because there are no accounting-related programs. For real. Who wants to watch Dancing with the Stars or 30 Rock? Dancing, comedy? Sounds lame, which is why I have created an idea for a new accounting-related program.

The obvious choice is Real World. “This is the true story... of seven strangers... picked to live in a house...work together and have their lives taped... to find out what happens... when people stop being polite... and start getting real...The Real World.” Um, pretty sure this is every day in the audit room. We just need cameras and confession rooms.

I am sure you already some interesting characters on your team. The senior who carries her full-size rabbit with her to client meetings and has the furry creature conduct SOX interviews. The tourettes-afflicted second year with multiple personality disorder, who sometimes fills out SAS documents signing off as Jimi Hendrix and sometimes as Samuel L. Jackson. The senior with joint problems of a senior citizen, who makes your massage his ankles and crack his knuckles and soak his feet.

No, these are just people on my team?

2 comments:

Rae said...

please tell me the bunny thing is true...

Katy said...

The first year you think is really trying but can't speak English? The new manager who recalculated every formula on a calculator in case Excel was wrong? The senior who ditched work during busy season to try out for American Idol?