Sent 1/3/09
Holiday RecapI decided somewhat last minute to surprise the family and just show up for the holidays. As I walked past the dining room window and my mother Bonnie looked up from decorating her sugar cookies, I received exactly the warm, evocative response I’d anticipated, “Oh sh*t.” Thanks, Bonnie.
The flight to the Sooner State proved informative. After cringing from the man who threatened “Woman, you better shut your mouth before I womp you” to his wife, I settled into my seat next to an older gentleman from southern Oklahoma. He enlightened me to the below:
Bush is going to pardon everyone he can and then resign. After which, Cheney will step up and pardon all his buddies and then resign. Then Condi will become the first black president – not Obama.
Interestingly, Condi and W are having an affair, and Laura will leave her husband after Obama is installed.
When it all proves true, I want you all to know you heard it from Seat 8B first.
I spent Christmas Day at the VFW. The buffet consisted of monochromatic vats of starch – stuffing, corn, mashed potatoes. My parents and grandparents grew very uncomfortable while at the dinner when my sister mentioned Obama. Apparently, he’s not too popular in the northeastern Oklahoma VF-Dub.
Sibling Update
Zach, a recent graduate of Harrah High School, informed me of his contributions to his community. Remember when we were in high school and someone would show a video about STDs and safe sex and answer any questions? Yep, that’s now my brother. He tours the local high schools teaching kids how to use condoms and explaining what STDs are.
Caleb gave me a copy of his most recent yearbook photo. Should you ever get your hands on a Panther yearbook, you can easily spot by brother, as he is the only member of the junior class with an afro and fully grown mustache.
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