My Journey to Attain 60% Hep A Immunity

I'm going to India this afternoon, but the journey really started when I decided to get a Hepatitis Vaccination. Because I failed to get both shots in time for the trip, I am only 60% immune to hep A. None of these stories are exaggerations. They’re real.

Attempt 1 / in the middle of May / Doctor’s Office in Midtown
I waited in the office for two hours, the doctor took a blood test to see if I needed a vaccination. She never called me back, never returned my calls, her voicemail doesn’t even work. Never go to Isabel Souffrant.

Attempt 2 / last week / Department of Health in Harlem
It was listed online as a walk-in clinic to get free hepatitis vaccinations. It was really an STD clinic. I waited in the line marked FREE STD TESTING with high-schoolers and some old guy and watched cartoons about STDs only to find out they only gave hepatitis B vaccinations.

Attempt 3 / yesterday morning / Clinic in Flushing, Queens
As a last minute resort, a coworker gave me the number for a clinic open on Sundays. I made it out to Flushing, Queens at 9:45am yesterday (Sunday). I loved the doctor’s office. No one spoke English. I witnessed one woman pay with zucchini and another man pay with pirated DVDs.

They asked me if I wanted an EKG. I said okay. A woman motions for me to follow her out the clinic, down the street, around a KFC (Kenny’s Fried Chicken), up some back stairways in another building, into some other doctor’s office, and I don’t think I can type what went down in there.

When I did get the vaccine, I was in the waiting room. A nurse comes out, sits next to me, pulls up my sleeve, and gives me the shot right there in the waiting room. I didn’t even get a band-aid. It was awesome. I loved that office.

I feel awful. I started taking malaria pills. Bye.